Forbidden But Inevitable
by Serenity's Ghost
Summary: Doctor Holiday starts being honest with herself...and with Rex. Some truths can only last for a few short minutes.


I knew it was wrong. I was twenty-six and he was sixteen. That kind of thing was just really unorthodox and disgusting. But I couldn't help it.

Rex wasn't like most sixteen-year-olds. He had a strong sense of duty and cared a lot for other people. Even though he had a lot of his own issues to deal with, he spent most of his time helping other people and saving the world. He was a gem. It was why I started falling for him.

He was very handsome, too. As a doctor, I had gotten the opportunity to examine him physically. His body was strong and beautiful, a lot more mature than other boys his age. He was attractive, I couldn't deny. I had to try hard to resist the temptation and the thoughts of being wrapped up in his physique that was already taller than mine. It wasn't professional. It was criminal. And once I didn't act on it, everything would be fine. If a woman like me could fall for a sixteen-year-old, I wasn't any good for him anyway.

He flirted with me a lot but it seemed to me like it was just all in jest. He couldn't really love me. I was cryptic about things about myself. Maybe he appreciated my caring doctor persona. But that wasn't all that I was. I was someone deeper, darker. I was not healthy for Rex.

I had to get the thoughts out of my head. Rex was right there on the bed of the CT scanner having just come back from a mission and I couldn't afford to entertain such thoughts when he was here in front of me. I shouldn't have been able to afford them at all but granted, I was only human. 'The heart wants what the heart wants'. Yeah, right. Some people weren't afforded those luxuries. Like love and freedom to love. I was vaguely aware of Six's underplayed and hidden affections for me, something I was only aware of because I happened to walk into his room when he was writing in some sort of journal and I managed to sneak a glance before he closed the book. But he knew he couldn't act on it. Not in this organisation. White probably wouldn't allow it anyway.

I finished up the examination and found Rex asleep on the bed of the CT scanner. He looked so at peace and so free. It was adorable. It made my heart warm. He worked so hard. He deserved to rest. I would have to call Six to get him to bed. I didn't want to wake him. He deserved his sleep.

His sweet, peaceful face did nothing to quell my romantic thoughts. It only made them worse. It was like a little devil picking at my mind uncomfortably. He was asleep. Maybe if I kissed him—

No, I couldn't. As a doctor and a worker of Providence, I was not allowed at any time. As a twenty-six-year-old who acted as physician to him, I could not. It was so wrong. It was just so wrong.

But no one had to know about it. Rex was sleeping and I could be light. I could just give him one tiny, soft kiss and he'd never know. All I had to do was let my lips touch his. Just that.

At that time, the little devil was winning. My feelings were taking control over my brain. The desperate, nasty, violent fight in my head was coming to an end, between the name calling, the acknowledgement that I was a freak and a sick woman, and the assurance that I was human and couldn't control the emotions that such an admirable young man could make me feel, it was ending as I spent seconds and seconds and seconds watching his rest.

Slowly I bent to him, my brain screaming 'no' and cursing me with the foulest words I knew but unable to stop me from what my heart had already convinced me to do. Very gently, I laid my lips to his and kissed him as gently as I could. My thoughts of objection died as I enjoyed the feel of his oddly soft lips on mine. After a few long seconds of pure bliss, I lifted my lips from his and whispered so very softly into his ear.

"Rex, I love you." I turned, about to head back to my desk.

"Then why'd you stop?" he replied. I spun around and he was looking at me through half open eyes. Shock and shame mixed together inside of me.

"Rex, I thought you were asleep," I said the shock audible in my voice as he sat up.

"If you love me, then come kiss me again."

"Rex, I—"

"What are you so scared of? Just come."

Against my better judgement or any judgement at all, I returned to him and his arms came around me as soon as I was near. His lips came to mine and parted this time, making the kiss real and mutual and all the more heady and delicious. My hands were on either side of Rex's thighs on the scanner, his legs on either side of me so I could be close for our kiss. This kiss that was so wrong and violating and fantastic. I broke free and just looked in his eyes, the voices in my head returning and condemning.

"Rex, I'm sorry. This is so wrong. I shouldn't have—"

Rex's lips on mine cut me off and he slid off the bed and pulled me right up against him. My arms wrapped around his neck as the kiss continued and as what was in my heart and in my veins took over. I wanted very much to peel away at the layers between us and get to know what skin on skin felt like. But Rex was just a boy and this was just a kiss and that was as far as it would get. I could deny any of this happened later. I could stick him with the needle full of anaesthetic and then get Six to take him to his room and make up some lie as to why he was out cold under anaesthetic.

I took all that I could get from that moment and as soon as we were forced to part, I stuck the needle in his arm and emptied the contents into his body.

"Wha—" He collapsed before his sentence or question or statement or whatever could even half way leave his lips. I managed to get him back onto the bed of the scanner, though he was quite heavy with all that amazing muscle, and I touched the communicator at my ear for Six.

"What is it?" he asked, not barking or angry, just his usual straightforward self.

"Could you come take Rex to his room? He's exhausted and I can't wake him."

"I'm on my way." I walked over to the window overlooking the Petting Zoo just to get away from him and avoid any temptation. After about two minutes, Six came through the door.

"Is he okay?" he asked.

"Fine. Just unconscious."

"Unconscious? Why?" Six's eyes missed nothing. "You gave him anaesthetic?"

"He was tired and I told him to sleep but he refused and insisted on flirting with me instead. So I made him sleep. He'll be better rested this way."

"You can't baby him like this, you know. He's a growing teenager and needs to know for himself when enough is enough." He picked him up and then turned back to me. "Are you okay, Doctor? You look nervous."

"Me? Oh, I'm fine. Just considering things. You should take him now."

"Alright. Goodbye, Doctor." He walked from the room just then and I cursed myself for not having it better under control. I touched my lips, acknowledging that the taste of Rex was still there. I was horrible. I had work to do.

I returned to my seat at my desk and started combing through the papers on it. Rex would be told it was all a dream. He didn't need to know the truth.


End file.
